Posted in Margy Tries to Exercise

They Call Them “Dumbells” For A Reason

We're Not The Dumbells Here

Yes, here we are, folks! Margy’s exercise odyssey – day two.

I’m a disaster waiting to happen in a gym. Every year something else goes out and I end up spending more time at the physical therapist’s office than I do on the Stairmaster.  My intentions…well, you know what the road to hell is paved with.

It goes like this.

1. I sign up for an exercise class or fitness center.

2. I’m really excited. I’m going to do it this time – get fit, finally!

3. Start an exercise class, regimen or workout routine. During the first five minutes I’m thinking: “yeah, go baby”! Pant, pant, pant. Then after another five minutes I’m thinking: “oh, God, keep going, keep going, it’s almost over…” Pant, pant, pant, pant, pant. Then after 2 minutes something screams “OW- OWWW-OWWW-OWWWW-STOP-STOP-STOP-RIGHT-NOW!!!!!”

4. I limp home and call the doctor. By now I’m on first-name terms with all the physical therapists. “Oh, hi, Margy!” they declare when I drag myself into their office.

Over the years it’s been my Achilles tendons, my wrists and upper back, my lower back and, most lately, my knees. That’s not even including the times I’ve managed to walk into things, like my husband’s shod foot while we were on vacation in August. I was barefoot and our hotel room was very, very small. I swung out of bed and all hell broke loose a second later as I smashed my three smallest toes against his sneakers. Those toes were black and blue for weeks. Dare I admit it? It’s the second time I’ve done that.

So, today I got myself to Fitness First in Arlington Center (yes, Arlington, Massachusetts readers. That link is for you!) and gave the treadmill another try. My toes screamed in protest the last time I tried, but they behaved themselves today: at least for a while. I walked, then a little faster, then my toes started to yell at me: “stop that right now!” I slowed down, but increased the incline. Aha! Faked out the little buggers. But, then my knee and I started up a conversation, that started with “um, Margy, that’s gonna’ hurt. Just sayin’.”

So, I gave it 10 minutes and then retired to the locker room. I burned a total of 45 calories. Don’t laugh!

Made it home after limping over to the farmers market for some onions. By then the rain was coming down sideways so I ended my outing and got the Ibuprofen and knee brace out.

But, my exercise is not yet over! I’m trying out a yoga class tonight at 7:30, the same place I went to yesterday and just down the street from the health club. If I’m still alive tomorrow I’ll tell you all about it.


Writer, Walker, Entrepreneur, baby-boomer

8 thoughts on “They Call Them “Dumbells” For A Reason

  1. This so reminded me of a line I heard in a tv show the other night. An older guy is in the hospital and the young nurse asks if she can take his vitals. He replies, “Go ahead and take them, everything else is falling off” LOLOL

    1. Oh, God, yes! That could be me saying that. Either everything is falling off or coming back on in places I don’t really want them!

  2. Is it ok to laugh? Because, I just did, and loud too !
    Your exercise sessions are going to be entertaining, I see. So, what happened at yoga?

    1. Alas, I wimped out on the yoga, but not until after I realized that there’s a yoga class at the health club. I did go 15 minutes today, though. Aren’t you proud of me???

  3. Good luck Margy! Hopefully the yoga will be a little easier on your joints.

    Sometimes when things are hurting during exercise I’ll ask myself why the hell I am doing this. I know its supposed to be good for us, but man, sometimes it just plain hurts.

    1. I had a moment of bliss on the treadmills today, actually. I kinda-sorta had to force myself to stop. I think that’s progress of a sort, or just darn foolishness.

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