Posted in Family, Funny Stuff, Home

You Had To Be There

Cat in Front of Shredded Wallpaper
I Can Relate

My husband (then boyfriend) and I moved into a house with hideous – absolutely, eye-blisteringly hideous – wallpaper. I called it fire sale wallpaper as it screamed its way through our living room, dining room, hallway and kitchen. A kitchen in fire engine red. A living room in depressing deep blue, with brown or tan fake flocked wallpaper going up to the second floor. It came off the bargain shelves and could have been hung by the prior owner. This was the same guy who had a 1940s-era stove still in the kitchen and did nothing to improve the house except have it badly scraped and painted battleship gray. Fortunately, the house itself outclassed the neglect of the previous owner and managed to charm us into buying it, wallpaper or no.

Some of the wallpaper has come down, thankfully, and some it remains to give me headaches to this day. But the best part was mother, the first time she saw the house. I’d told my then-boyfriend how much I hated the wallpaper and wanted to strip it as soon as I/we could. He really couldn’t have cared less about the paper. Anyway, my mother walks into the house, looks around and declares: “Oh, I love this wallpaper!”

I gasped in horror and the not-yet-hubby started laughing. Then he took out his wallet and handed mom an “air” $20.00. My mother went through all the rooms and declared she loved the wallpaper. Gah and OMG. The male friend kept pulling out his wallet and handing another air $20.00.  Then my mother went into the kitchen, declared “I really do like this wallpaper!” She put out her hand when the hubby forgot to hand her another fake $20.00.

I picked myself off of the kitchen floor (don’t get me started on the linoleum in that room!) and the wallpaper love-in ended. So, when I saw this picture…well, it had to get passed around!


Writer, Walker, Entrepreneur, baby-boomer

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