When I was a kid, an aspirin company used to run a series of commercials about headaches. The company, Excedrin, did little vignettes it called “Excedrin Headache Number #. Then you’d hear something – a stressful conversation, a dinner plate crashing to the floor or some other headache-inducing event.
I’ve got a new one – “Excedrin headache number 1,000,000,000: the health care aide.”
My mother has aides to help her throughout the day. Some aides are excellent. They take the initiative, they care about their charges, they report issues as they come up. Other aides don’t.
As you can probably tell, this is a blog post about the aides that don’t. Actually, there’s just one aide. She started a few weeks ago. It was immediately apparent that this person was dull-witted (okay, enough beating around the bush – she was fuckin’ stupid), but we assumed she was doing at least the care portion of the job, such as sponge-bathing my mom on those days when she couldn’t take a shower and showering her on those days when my mom was up to the task.
This is where super-aide comes in, a woman who’s been working with my mom since December. Smart, engaging, takes the initiative and loves my family. My mom’s been in more-than-usual pain the last few days, so super-aide gave her a sponge bath since she was on-duty at that time.
That’s when we found out that the other aide was doing no such thing. How difficult can a sponge bath be? You take a washcloth with warm water, you soap up the person, you wash, then wipe her down and dry her off. My mother then mentioned that bad-aide’s idea of a sponge bath was to wash her face with a cold cloth. Good-aide (who is very close to my mother and really cares about her) hit the ceiling. Not only is the bad aide not doing anything else (no washing, no dishes, no engaging company), she’s not cleaning my mom, either. What the f*** is she getting paid for, I wonder?
So, as you can probably tell, the good-aide is not the only one who’s pissed. Bad aide won’t take the slightest initiative and talks about herself constantly. Self-absorbed chatter is no stranger to my family, but at least we don’t talk about relatives dying, which is all the other aide talked about until I stopped her. But, then she’d start up again.
I was planning on having a chat with bad-aide about doing work around the house when she wasn’t directly caring for my mother. Her job description includes laundry and dishes as needed, like after a meal. My father was doing that. You have to realize, my dad always does dishes and laundry but the aide should be taking that work off of his 91-year-old shoulders.
So, dumb as a post, takes no initiative and does a shit job of personal care. She’s outta here!